It's All Him

I started this blog during a time where my only purpose was to soak in God's love and be with Him rather to serve Him. You could say God called me to a brief time as a hermit or something like that. As I'm sure you've gathered from reading my blog, it hasn't often been fun for me to just sit and allow Him to minister to me, but I have learned more about Him than I ever thought possible, and I'm grateful He made me go through this time. But now, I can see that God's finally calling me to a time of serving. Now I'm serving in capacities I never have before, and I can see that what I do is simply an outpouring of all He's brought me through in the past few months. Just like He told me, there's no struggle. Serving in these new ways is as natural as breathing, because He's doing it all. It's pure glory to be a medium for God to flow through (a tree!).
But you know what God has shown me? Why it's so hard to live in this place of empowerment. See, not only are things coming easily to me, but I'm also doing them well. How can I not when God's doing them through me? But it's so easy to forget and to start thinking I'm something special. Then I know what will happen, because I've been here before. I'll start by enjoying the praises of men and enjoying feeling good at something. Then I'll start trying to impress people with what I do. The minute that happens, the minute I start trying in my own strength, I take the work out of God's hands. Then suddenly I'm stuck with a burden I was never meant to bear, trying to live up to something I could never live up to, wondering what went wrong.
As I wrote in "Standing," the fight is to lie down at God's feet and stay there, no matter what happens.