Being Filled Up

For much of the time I was in Ghana, I felt totally drained. I cried out to God, asking for more strength and inspiration, not understanding why He wouldn't supply me with His strength when I ran out of my own. And He did refresh me when I called, but I had to get to the point where I was empty, which was a miserable feeling. Now, lets forget for a moment that I had been wrongly diagnosed and parasites were ravaging my intestines while I was being treated for malaria, because in a way that was not important. What was important was that my thinking was all backwards.
I operated on my own strength, and expected God to come in and save the day when I could do no more. Saying it that way, it seems obvious what my problem was, but I think it's a trap that's so easy for us all to fall into. We don't pour ourselves out and expect to be filled back up, we get filled up to the point where anything not of God automatically gets drained out - before we do anything. Then we have something worth pouring out. I believe with all my heart that if I had taken this approach, I would have never found myself empty and having to go to God for a refill, like God was a waiter being a little slow with that second cup of coffee. I would have found that the more I pour out God's love, the more was there, both for everyone around me and myself as well.